Cool Guy Vs The New Jersey Devil!

While on his way home from being expelled from military school after the incident in Afghanistan! Cool guy was ambushed by the evil New Jersey devil! To escape cool guy kicks the demon in the balls and runs away! Now trapped in the woods with the New Jersey devil and suffering from PTSD cool guy must find a way to get back home to the wife before she cheats on him and marries his least favorite brother pathetic guy! Oh, and cool guy must find this sword of ultimate slaying to kill the New Jersey Devil! You got that brother!